Innocence
by Song of Stillness
Summary: In the early days... when Severus and Lily where still friends...


Innocence

She watches him, as she usually does, the sun warming the stretch of grass in front of her. He walks happily, head thrown back, the sun touching his face. He is slim with an easy gait and hair that's messy, windswept and a little too long but handsomely so. It's as if nothing can touch him on this glorious day, as if all the cares of the world have disapparated into nothing, although she knows this is not so. She often wonders what the cause is for his sudden tears, the pain that touches the corner of his mouth when she mentions her wonderful parents, his quick sarcastic comments, the deep obsidian eyes that tell everything and yet nothing. She had meant to ask for a while now. But she has decided it's finally time to ask him.

"Severus?"

He stops, the sun glinting in his hair.

"Yes?"

He turns to face her, and she can't help but laugh at his slightly bewildered expression, the way his eyebrows seem to have formed two crescent-shaped shadows over his eyes. She smiles up at him and touches the corner of his mouth where it has turned down slightly in confusion.

"Sorry… I shouldn't have disturbed you… you looked so happy…"

Immediately, his wariness fades away and he sighs, his hair falling over his face.

"Nah – it's ok. I was just enjoying the sun, that's all. It's so… nice, being out here with you." He mumbles the last part so that she can barely hear him. She smiles secretly to herself and takes his hand. She concentrates on the smooth palm, the creasing line that spreads from his wrist to his fourth finger, the shiny silver ring with the glinting green stone, the scar that is still visible that runs up his arm and disappears into his shirt sleeve, and wonders how she can say what's on her mind.

"You know, you can tell me anything, right?"

He looks at her at first, uncomprehending, but then meeting her own open stare, his expression darkens. He scowls, dropping her hand and looking away.

"Why should I burden you with my own problems?"

Lily's eyes flash green fire. "Because you're my friend… because I care about you…"

"Lily," he says, and there's a strange black emptiness in his eyes. "I… I don't want you to know…"

"Why Severus, _why?_ Do you think it will make me not want to be around you anymore…? Do you think I won't _want_ to be your friend? That it will somehow _affect _our relationship? If so, you have a pretty poor understanding of what it means to be a friend!"

Severus flinches, but stays firm. "I didn't ask you to butt into my life! You have _no_ idea what I go through!"

"Then tell me, you _idiot_! Tell me so I can understand!"

They are both red-faced and furious, panting with exertion.

Severus's eyes are empty, merciless. His words chill her to the bone. "If only you knew what it's like to come home to a father who _hates_ you… to see your own mother cower in a corner like some… some animal… to be shoved up against the wall until you can't breathe…to plead and plead but have your cries fall on deaf ears… to wake up in the morning to realise your own father has done this… your father…"

Her eyes are wide. He knows he's shocked her and he can't bear her rejection. He turns away, tears scalding in his eyes. "I'm sorry…I should probably…" he whispers.

"No." She stares up at him, tears streaming down her face. "It's not your fault Sev…" And gently, slowly she slips her arms around his waist and rests her cheek against his chest.

"_I'm_ sorry…"

They stand there for what seems like eternity, the sun sparkling in their hair, the wind brushing their skin with warm fragrance.

"Sev…I want you to know something…"

"What?" he whispers, barely able to breathe, his throat so constricted.

"I love you... and I'll always be there for you…"

And that was the first time he heard her say it, and even amidst the pain he could somehow bear it, with the small, warm head against his chest, and the dampness of her tears on his shirt.

Lily Evans loved him. And that was enough for him. He didn't care if the world crumbled or the sun crashed into the sea. He was loved, he was loved… he was loved.


End file.
